The star was rushed away, calling for an emergency tailor and a copy of Top Gun.
"That's gold, Jawad, gold!"
In an act of bourgeois selflessness, an inner-city man will collect $10 notes every week and burn them in a garbage bin on his street.
North Korea will cease nuclear weapons testing because it was stupid and besides they never wanted to do it anyway and it doesn't even care okay.
In news that has sent shockwaves across the world, for the next 24 hours or so cricket will sort of be interesting enough to pay attention to.