Report: only journos say “at the weekend”, “nego-ss-iate”

A report by the MEAA has discovered that certain phrases and words like “at the weekend” and ” nego-ss-iate” are only used by the world’s political and media elite.

Lead researcher Walter Cronkite made the announcement at a press conference today.

“We have yet to find one working class person who actually talks like this. In fact, it seems nobody on the planet uses these phrases unless they are in front of a camera.”

The phrases are even more disconnected from reality when said by Tony Jones and that smug guy on Media Watch, the report said.

The study also found that journalist’s voices are on average half an octave lower than how normal people talk, and their hair is sixty percent more blonde.

They also recorded other behavioural anomalies in these circles, including eyebrow movement among journalists and tight lips among politicians like Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard and Penny Wong.

“We are expecting more as this story develops,” he concluded. “That’s all the news to now.”

“It’s FOR now, what is wrong with you people?!” a passer-by yelled at the gathered press. “Talk normal for God’s sake!”

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