An independent inquiry into the efficacy of ballpoint pens has found that one in particular is being a right little bastard when you try to write with it.

The study conducted by the CSIRO condemned the .5mm blue biro and its continued resistance against doing its one goddamn task.

In a press conference this morning Galton Walkterby explained the results with a graph.

“As you can see this study confirms what we have suspected for a while, which is that the trend of ballpoint pens has… oh you sonofabitch!” he said, scribbling the chart in frustration.

The pen was then passed around the circle of scientists, who all took turns in trying to demonstrate with the useless piece of bullshit.

“It’s full. I can see the ink in the frickin thing,” a lab assistant said.

“Try scribbling it back and forward,” suggested another.

For the study they tried multiple methods to get the piece of shit to work with mixed results.

“We expected there to be anomalies, so we weren’t surprised when it would write only for upward motion. Naturally we tried rotating the pen and it still didn’t fucking work, the bastard.”