The government has given their own explanation as to the cause of extreme weather, dismissing climate change as a possibility.
The people's president tells us his favourite techniques to keep your garden free from apocalyptic climate disasters.
"The duck's ducklings have been separated to a safe facility in New Mexico," border agents told the press today.
This science fiction epic lets the imagination soar to the moon for the first time ever.
The study condemns the .5mm biro's inability to do its one goddamn task.