Weinstein to plead “no shit” to charges

Harvey Weinstein has surrendered to police in New York today, pleading “yeah no shit” to charges of sexual assault.

His lawyer said they considered pleading not guilty, but they dismissed the idea pretty quickly.

“At this stage there’s not much else we could do,” he said. “Not even FOX News thinks he’s innocent any more.”

Mr Weinstein’s other options for pleading to the charges included “duh”, “seriously?” and “you have to ask?”

His legal team also thought of pleading the popular “dinosaur creep”, which is similar to an insanity plea, although they concede that strategy has usually only worked in the Court of Public Opinion.

In unrelated news, after Mr Weinstein was charged with sexual assault, it was confirmed that the Pope does indeed shit in the woods.

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