Trump campaign pleads “alternative guilty” to Russia collusion

After being federally indicted for conspiracy, three prominent employees of the 2016 Trump presidential campaign have pled “alternative guilty” to all charges.

The former advisors accused of charges relating to collusion with foreign governments have appeared in court today saying they are “the least guilty people in the history of the world, period.”

Judge Deborah Robinson asked the defendants to clarify the plea, stating clearly that they were “accused of what amounts to a conspiracy against the United States and its democratic core.”

“I know lots of people who would say the opposite,” former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort replied. “Lots of people. Just ask around.”

Special Counsel Robert Mueller says the investigation has conclusive evidence of links between Trump campaign aides and several foreign governments.

“We have alternative evidence that says the Hillary campaign colluded with a prominent Kenyan national.”

Paul Manafort

The defendants then concluded that they would agree to disagree with Mueller and the “so called” judge, who President Trump fired from her position as a US magistrate soon after today’s court proceedings “for J walking”.