Emergency services have responded to this week’s political shitstorm by setting the government bullshit meter to “catastrophic” – the highest possible rating.
The rating system warns the public to be vigilant in the face of an increased risk of bullshit spewing from the mouths of politicians, particularly in rural NSW and QLD.
“Of course, political BS is natural phenomenon in this country,” a local fire chief said. “It’s part of the ecosystem. But this season’s bullshit is piling much higher than usual and it’s incredibly dangerous.”
Government ministers have denied that this week’s bullshit is in any way remarkable and certainly not the result of a change in the political climate.
Australia engages in bullshit backburning, a preventative measure which is designed to release political bullshit at unpleasant but controllable levels. A Barnaby Joyce press conference is one such favoured measure.
The BS Meter has several ratings, from “eye-roll-inducing” to “failing the pub test”, but has not been set to “catastrophic” since 2017, when Tony Abbott publicly stated he supported Malcolm Turnbull as Prime Minister.