Morrison insists the deck chairs look better this way

Scott Morrison is insisting on rearranging the furniture on the deck of his sinking yacht, despite his crew’s calls to abandon ship.

This Australia Day weekend, Morrison’s yacht began taking in water on Sydney Harbour as several key crew abandoned their posts and jumped ship.

The PM was seen acting visibly unphased, rearranging the yacht’s deck chairs as the alarm sounded and crew took to the lifeboats.

“Where are you going guys?” he was heard saying too casually, mopping his brow. “Honestly the whole ship is better this way!”

As the ship continues to sink today, he has employed the services of a string quartet, who sources say will play the national anthem and Slim Dusty covers on repeat.

“It has been a privilege playing with you tonight,” first mate Julie Bishop was quoted saying this morning the water started lapping at their heels.

The previously proud, broad yacht has been subject to bad weather and poor navigational decisions since last year, but many maritime experts say at this point the vessel is unrecoverable.

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