Your definitive guide to the horses most likely to be shot after today’s big race

An edited version of this article was published on The Shovel.

The race that stops a nation has a history of stopping horses’ hearts.

Follow this definitive guide to make the most of your bet and win big after these fantastic beasts are pushed to the point of exhaustion and death.

  1. Best Solution

    Best Solution is the reining (get it?) champ of the prestigious Caulfield Cup, so many think that might have exhausted him and this race might be the one to finally push him to inevitable injury and death. A favourite can’t be a favourite forever, and with any luck jockey Pat Cosgrave will give it his all only to take it all from Best Solution after the race. If he does over-exert himself, the best solution for Best Solution is undoubtedly euthanisation.

  2. Yucatan

    This year’s favourite to win has a lot to live up to as it is rare for a horse to be so consistently successful as they are usually euthanised before they can reach too many wins. Credit must go to Yucatan’s trainer and jockey though that their unconventional strategy of working so hard to be a favourite only to kill the horse in the championship might just pay off.

  3. Youngstar

    Youngstar might just be your ticket if you want to pick a winner of the race, but her odds for dying afterwards are quite slim unfortunately. She almost caught legendary race horse Winx in the Turnbull Stakes which means it is likely that she is just too strong and healthy to get injured or spooked enough to get killed this time.

  4. Rostropovich

    European horse Rostropovich has performed really well on the international circuit, but has been unable to go that bit further and get killed after any significant race. This brings him to Australia’s legendary derby where with any luck this European outsider can finally find peace after a life of whipping and torture on racetracks the world over.

  5. Who Shot Thebarman

    Last year, only a couple of short days before the big race, trainer Chris Waller was forced to scratch Who Shot Thebarman due to an elevated temperature. He said in a press release at the time that “the welfare of the horse comes first” which gives us a clue that Who Shot Thebarman is unlikely to be put down as his trainer cares too much. But keep your bets high: with any luck this year we might get to see who shoots Who Shot Thebarman.

  6. Nakeeta

    Having run the Melbourne Cup before with disappointing results, it is unlikely that Nakeeta will perform any better this year, which ups his odds of getting killed after the race significantly.

  7. Runaway

    Don’t let the name fool you: Runaway won’t run away, because he physically can’t! Runaway is forced into a life of servitude through no fault of his own and escape is impossible before injury or death in the most brutal of ways. A sure fire favourite!

There you have it. Happy betting and enjoy the abuse (interrupted by a few minutes of racing).

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