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Trump has been attempting to find a get out of jail free card so he never has to see Eric or Donald Jr again, but agents briefed him yesterday that he will have to keep trying.
"A Nazi story and a KKK story! That's an achievement even for us."
Following personal pleas from Kim Kardashian, US President Donald Trump has agreed to give Kanye West a pardon for being Kanye West.
In other news, the Pope does indeed shit in the woods.